I read a quote this morning that has stayed with me all day and into tonight:
“We are desperate for something to fill up the space where they should be.”
That’s how grief is, isn’t it? The loved one(s) that we lost should be here. At the table for dinner, at family gatherings, holidays and birthday celebrations, starting kindergarten, graduating high school, enjoying retirement. But they aren’t here. The sad fact is, we will never see them this side of heaven again.
So, we long desperately to fill that empty space. We try and fill that space with anything we can. You might still bake them a cake for their birthday, still hang their stocking, having your morning coffee in their favorite mug, or drink that cup of coffee in “their” seat.
Truth is, absolutely nothing physical can fill that space. We must go through the stages of grief, and allow ourselves those big feelings. Then, as we begin to heal, we are able to slowly let go of trying to “fill the space” and simply begin to celebrate that they existed.
I’m thankful that we were made in God’s image. I’m so glad we don’t have to feel guilty for grief. Aren’t you? We can trust God with our hurt and grief, still feel that pain, and process it. Jesus grieved his friend Lazarus, even knowing he would see him again. Tears and sorrow are a part of the journey of grief. I’m thankful for a God who understands that.
So, whatever you’re doing to remember your loved ones right now, keep doing it. Your loved one existed. Even though you’re hurting and grieving right now, your loved one deserves to be remembered and celebrated- however that looks for you right now.
What are some ways you choose to remember your loved one(s)?
