Struggle. It seems to be never ending on this side of Heaven. Sometimes, instead of moving from one good thing into another, it’s easy to feel as if we are just moving from one place of struggle to another one. That can bring deep discouragement.
There is an Elizabeth Elliot quote that says, “A whole lot of what we call struggling is just delayed obedience.” In turn, it is also true that “delayed obedience is often disobedience.”
Sometimes, when we seek God in prayer as we are making a decision about what lies ahead, He speaks very clearly as to what our next move should be. Often times, we will wonder if we heard Him correctly, and seek to spend more time deliberating over the matter than is necessary. Making big life decisions can be scary and hard. We don’t spend extra time wavering because we want to delay our obedience, but rather to try and handle the situation with wisdom and discernment. Many times, after we have spent some time in this space of ‘delayed obedience’ (read ‘struggle’), we realize what God communicated to us right at the very beginning.
That’s where my husband and I have spent time these past few months- delayed obedience. There has been ‘struggle’ because of that delay. We’ve been able to take a step back and realize that our struggle was self inflicted because we didn’t listen to what the Father was speaking to us to begin with.
I love to be encouraged, especially during struggle- don’t you? For an unexpected word or message to cross your path at just the right time- I call those God Winks. He knows each situation I walk through, and breathes life into me as I walk through each day of my life. One such encouragement that I heard on social media a number of years ago came from Esther Walker. I’m sure many of you have heard it as well, but in case you haven’t, I’ll link it at the bottom of this post.
In her short video, Esther was talking to her daughter, Jennifer, about a motto she had carried through her life- a piece of advice she now offers to her children when they seek her wisdom and guidance- “Just go quietly on,” Esther says.
Esther says that “We live in a very noisy world, it’s so busy…all kinds of trouble, tribulation… we don’t know what to do.” She goes on to say that having a relationship with the Lord means that we are never alone. Esther says we don’t have to fear, and we can have a “wonderful peace.”
That’s certainly something we all long for in this world, especially when we are in any kind of struggle- peace. Esther talks more about how we are “waiting on tiptoes” for the return of the Lord, but that until that day, we can have quietness and peace in the here and now- if we will trust in Him.
“Since He created everything, He can handle our problems. Just go quietly on,” Esther says in ending.
I find myself thinking about Esther and her advice anytime I’m surrounded by the turmoil of the world, or any kind of struggle- even the kind I inflict on myself with disobedience. “Just go quietly on.”
This advice has also taught me to move in silence. I’m an introvert. I don’t like to be looked at, or ever be the center of attention. I’ve learned, in obeying the Lord- often the FIRST time I’m told, that I can move in silence, in His will, and not draw attention to myself or what I’m doing.
That’s exactly what we did just a few weeks ago. We had been approached, sought after even, about entering back into a ministry that held a huge piece of our hearts. At first discussion, Brandon and I said no. We knew that God had been drawing us in this direction of ministry once again- but weren’t sure yet of the location we needed to be in. After some prayer and deliberation, and against our first instinct, when we were approached the third time by an organization, we agreed.
This isn’t a ministry that we could do half way. We began, almost immediately, to make the major changes this move would require. We began selling many of our personal belongings, and began to prepare to list our home on the market. I foolishly even delayed a surgery that I really needed to prioritize, just so we could meet a timeline given to us.
Oddly, something kept delaying us. Brandon couldn’t get the needed time off work for travel. Something came up that needed to be repaired in the house. There was a tragedy within their company. My health deteriorated. Delay after delay.
Yet, we pressed forward. Then, just three days before we were suppose to make the first of many trips back and forth in this transition, the organization that pursued us so heavily, and felt like such a great fit, cancelled on us BY EMAIL. We didn’t even receive the courtesy of a phone call.
Delayed obedience. We knew immediately the first time we were approached that we didn’t feel led in this direction. We said no. But after pursuit, we thought we heard wrong and needed to reconsider.
If we had just listened and obeyed the first time, we would have saved ourselves so much struggle. We wouldn’t have lost all the money we did in travel reservations. I would have been able to have the surgery I needed sooner, my health may have even improved sooner. We struggled because we didn’t obey immediately.
We weren’t sure which pain was worse- the suffering we inflicted on ourselves by not listening, or the rejection we now felt. We gave up time, money, even our health to a company that didn’t have the courtesy to call us when their plans changed. We were just a passing email. How I wish we had leaned into the Lord, and just went ‘quietly on’. Those months of struggle could have been months of peace.
DEEP DISCOURAGEMENT.
It took a minute to pull ourselves out of that place. We’ve since realized that while God is calling our family back into ministry, we need to listen closely when He tells us which place is His will for us and which ones aren’t. We’ve learned a lot about ourselves and prioritizing others over our own family. But most importantly, we’ve learned to listen to God, the first time.
While we thought we were pursuing obedience, we were actually doing the opposite. I won’t say this is true for every situation. Sometimes, you do need to take more time to listen, and take more time to pray. There will be times where it is better to act slowly and correctly than to risk being in disobedience.
But that wasn’t the case for us. Our delayed obedience caused struggles that we could have avoided if we had just listened the first time. But from now on, when we pray for wisdom and discernment, we will obey what He tells us when He quickly grants us just that.
To watch the original recorded video of “Just Go Quietly On” by Esther Walker, click HERE.
